Leavin'

Here I am again, sitting inside one of the hippest coffee shop in town. You might wonder why I bother my time typing in some foolish words, but I think I need to get myself some proper alone time. Here's to all the fucks I give for everything everyone has done for me today.

For the record, I simply ran away from home. But since the phrase running away from home sounds too harsh, let's say that I'm running away from my reality. I was supposed to be somewhere else but here, laughing, talking, walking with someone whom had promised me that tonight would be the night where we can hang out and just simply talk about stuff. And now... This turned out to be a nightmare. I don't even know where to start.

Have you ever had the time when you feel soooo down you can't even believe that it's happening? This is one of those nights when you just want scream on the top of your lungs, yelling to everyone to help you out. But you can't. I even humiliate myself by crying inside a waxing shop while dozens and dozens of girls were waiting for their 'extra' hair to be pulled down. Plus, I dropped several things of mine and it made quite a sensation; everyone was trying to look at me and make sure everything's okay, while I was genuinely trying to cover my face, trying to keep my mascara up for the night. But again, my mascara was used for nothing, and I turned out to be dressing up for no one. I hate when my plans are being cancelled, especially the ones that are seriously important to me.

On the other side of this story, I understand how my mom feels so concerned about my love life and she's trying to back me up with some wisdoms, but could she please understand one thing? That I have no one to turn to. Screw people, they don't even have the eager to hear me, they're so full of themselves. And the hurtful fact is that he's the only one who apparently knows everything, literally everthing. How am I going to survive this whole new jungle without a single friend? Could she, herself, survive? I wonder if there could be a single tiny way so she could read this, and contemplate. Because replacing someone isn't as easy as she thinks it is.