Shooting Stars,

GOSH IT'S MY BOYFRIEND.

the thing is, i adore his funniness, awkwardness, and also his stupidness. cause it's just.. i don't know... FUN! the fun he brings leaves a huge smirk on my face, everyday, every second counts. well of course at some points he can uglily transform into a total killjoy, but he's giving me a ride to a real journey, not some kind of a freakish fairy tale. i learn stuffs from him, from the littlest and simplest ones to those which are very complex and rough. i know he's not 24/7 there for me, but by all the things he told me, i realized things even clearer, and i know i shouldn't be all-rigid to him, and i should leave my past, like, leave it.

but as time flies, i'm wishing that he'll always be a part of my book, inside every chapter of my private journal, although nothing seems to last forever.

from 1-10, he'll go out with a perfect 11 with a perfect patience. man i've always been a bitch to him, i'm a total asshole. but he handles every shit patiently, like, PATIENTLY. however, a man still has his own limitations and boundaries. i don't know what has gotten into him, but he has chosen and decided to go with me, the traumatic insensitive uncaring insecure and evenly selfish human being. i often ask how it feels like dealing with a girl like me, and things like these usually pop out:

that conversation took place in like 15 minutes ago, and i can still feel the chills. no one's going to argue about how shitty i am to him, i often being scold for being a total ass to him.

man, do you know how lucky it feels having your favorite milk there on your desk every morning at school without asking your boyfriend to buy them for you? do you know how lucky it feels having your tears wiped by all the motivation he gave? do you know how it feels like receiving a letter filled with moving words so you could nail the chemistry make up test?

do you know how it feels like dealing with a total fool like me?

i know you do if you're reading this. i'm sorry :(

there are too many things and i can't write each of every thing he's done, cause you're going to fall in love with him, instantly. and i'm pretty sure you're going to hate me forever.

i have to stop being Ms. I Don't Know What I Had Until It's Gone. it's no good for me, cause i'm having a strong feeling that he's going to be very missable later :')

last words, i'm thankful enough having an honest one like you. don't you ever misuse this trust i gave, or else it's going to be ugly. thank you for just being you, and being there fully when i said i need you zee most. thank you for the milk, the letters, the jersey, the chocolates, the words, the motivations, the meaningful hugs, etc. thank you for just being Dino :)