my usual visit to this blog will mean one thing and one thing only; I'm in the mood to blab.
no offense though, I made this blog and got it all pretty-looking and stuff because I want people to feel they can get inspired and just getaway with my words, and they will leave the page stuffed. I've been very busy (with procrastination) lately, and I couldn't help myself with it. I procrastinate like a boss, leading to one poor-over thinking brain, because it starts imagining things way too far... Geez you don't even want to hear it, nasty thoughts all over the place I tell ya. here goes...
firstly, semuanya berawal dari imajinasi yang terlalu berlebihan dan all the random fights we had lately.
why are we doing this? why are we still holding on to this? we got nothing but a dead end, have you ever think of that?
why are we still here, using the word forever even though deep down inside we knew that we're not going to make it? like, there's no other way than to surrender and leave it all behind? you know what I'm talking about right? we got 30% percent of our lives getting through this the way we want. what, the other 70? I don't know, vanished maybe? thank God for tumblr and weheartit, but I finally got the pic that'll evenly change my life. no need to post 'em here, but the quote goes like this:
"You need to know the odds are your high-school relationship won't last three months on campus. If God wants you to be together in four or five years, it doesn't matter if one of you goes to the moon. You'll be back together."
- 1001 Things Every College Student Needs To Know
to those random readers who don't even know about my story, well it kinda goes like this: we have different religions. crazy huh? now all you have inside your heads must be some "you're not going anywhere" or, "thank God for being single" or maybe some "just get it done and over with". first of all, this is just a three-month old relation, and we're not getting anywhere near the word 'serious'. well, what would you do if you were us? don't you want to dream and hope a little? do or die, there are only two choices of a relationship; you break up or you get married. you see, it's a dead end and we knew it. even our parents remind us sometimes, just because we're heading to college, and it's a tough decision we're making later on. we're dealing with feelings, which can lead to some serious frustration and mood swings, or maybe can occur to any possible things. I know forever is a long time, but I'm just wishing that what we're having and what we had could simply be the type of moments we both cherish and look up to. I wish the moments will last forever, in our memories. I don't know when, or how, but I'll be hating the time we finally say goodbye. sorry for having to say stuff like this, but for now I'm not the kind of person who relies on the power of forever and just rekindle with it, let this moment pass, and I swear I'll believe that word.
I wrote this especially for you. aku baru bilang kamu harus stop negatif pagi ini and look what I wrote hahaha -_-
I wouldn't wrote this if I don't care about us too much. from the way I see it, it won't be us who will end this, but it is the fate and all that. I wonder how it feels like to lose someone important like you. I've lost many, but I guess it'll be harsher than ever. the habit will kill, and the love too. the embrace, the existence... such a long list. I want us to be prepared, I don't know about you but I'm the one with the heavy heart and leaky eyes. you know what, screw the fights bro, I'll miss them so much. I'll miss you. pssh I hate goodbyes, but I guess being realistic saves us all huh? I couldn't guarantee whether we'll stay friends or not, cause it's going to be awkward. but you know, please believe in love. I know we're going to get that one happy ending, both of us will. you will be happy and have your dreams, with or without me. sorry for being too pessimistic, but it's life that we're dealing with.
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