people stay, but people go. people stare, but people barely hear. people flick, but people change. what's going on? i don't know. i don't give a damn. the most reluctant thing is that i have to leave, for like the thousandth time.
thank God for the getaway last Monday, i felt surreal. i know it wasn't meant for me and my belief, but at times i'm thanking God for the chance He gave. otherwise i wouldn't be sitting here with a mind full of guilt and things to remind that my life shouldn't have been this hard. it is only a matter of choice; whether to live it loud, or to keep it simple, yet very rough and troubled. one sentence that i really loved to hear was 'i've known the answer for way too long--i just didn't have the guts to be that way, to make it real.'
it wasn't there to abuse me, it wasn't even there to make me cry. it happened for a reason, and i need to learn just one more time. but why is that every time i choose to stick to a certain light, the other light dimmed my face, telling me that it's still an option for me to use. therefore, my life is hard.
but since i have to choose between the fate and stuff, i become even stiffer than before. it's like i've gained this strength i have never had before, and make everything went out to be tougher. wrong. i stroke all the chances, and closed every single open door. and imma do it again this time, right now.
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